Thoughts on Finding the One Part II

During lunch time, my colleagues and I talked about something a little bit different than usual, as we normally have the kind of conversation during dinner – once we have it together. Someone brought up the topic and we all seemed to enjoyed it. It’s about love. Particularly, about finding the one.

Long story short, one of my colleagues, despite having a girlfriend, had a crush on someone at the office. But, he just declared that he will never look at anyone -ever again- with such adornment. When we asked him why, he answered “because last weekend I met my girlfriend and I realized how wonderful she is.” Aww. Sweet. It’s quite a surprise to hear those words came out from his mouth.

Then his answer reminded me of something I read not too long ago. Someone was asked regarding how he figured out that his wife is ‘the one’. How he finally decided the love of his life. The man aswered “it was when we went grocery shopping together that I realize she’s the one with whom I want to do grocery shopping together for the rest of my life.” Very simple.

Perhaps that is how we find the one. Through simple incident and small gesture. It’s nothing special and grand. It makes sense though. Because we are going to live with that person everyday. And our everyday life is more often a mediocre than anything extraordinary. So to be able to love the person everyday, we have to fall deeply in love with his mediocrity. No one will pick us up at the office everyday with a bouquet of flowers, no one will cook us a five star Michelin restaurant menu from Monday to Sunday, no one will wear a flawless make up for 24 hours. In finding the one… it’s not because those ‘special treatment’ we occasionally receive from the person. It is the person himself, how he lives from day to day, who he truly is. Just the way he is.

We don’t always see it at the first time we saw a person. It takes some time for some people to realize. But one day, we will realize the sparks, the light in his eyes, or the warmth of his voice, or anything of him that makes us pledge to ourselves to love him for the rest of our life.

A little bit addition, I am very happy for my colleague for having a very nice girlfriend. Since he’s with her, he has become a better person. I don’t know whether the kindness of his girlfriend affects him or what but I like how this girl brings a good influence to my fellow friend. Maybe this is also how we find the one. The one will be a person who makes us want to be a better human being. Not because he forces us nor because he encourages us, but simply because we want to be equally good as him. Without him doing anything, we’re already motivated to become the best version of ourselves.

Well, all I could say is maybe.. because I haven’t find the one. But hopefully, we soon will gravitate towards each other. Till the time comes for us to meet, then 🙂

❤️, Atiqah Zulfa Nadia

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Advice on Work, and Life in General

I went for lunch with my director this afternoon. It was my fourth time to sit with him on the same table and listen to his ‘wejangan’. He mostly talked about leadership, well, as expected. But he also mentioned two things that inspire me. It’s about responsibility and life goals. Both words closely related to my current phase of life, of becoming an adult. And his ‘wejangan’ kind of gave me the idea that I have been searching for lately. Pretty much the answer to ‘what should I do next?’ Such a beautiful coincidence, wasn’t it?

On Responsibility

Adults will have bigger responsibility in life compared to kids and teenagers. Mostly because adults choose their path, on their own. We’re not anymore getting the facility of our parents picking which company to work for, as they picked which high school to go to in the past. Many times my director reminds us that to work for the company is fully, consciously, our own decision. No one pull out a gun in front of our head and tell us “you have to work here”. It is our own decision in the very first place. And once we have made a decision, we have to take the responsibility of that decision. Including the consequences.

So to work hard or not to work hard simply is based on how we take the responsibility. Get paid every month while doing not much thing at the office might sounds nice but it is to some extent unfair and irresponsible. You chose to work at that company but it turns out you just want to get paid from the company. I’m not saying that we have to fall in love very deeply with and be fully dedicated to the company. That’s what they called corporate slave, no? What I’m saying is we have to be responsible. Do the bare minimum that is required, at least. Or do even more, depends on what we want to become.

Some people want to be just ordinary. Some people are happy with earning 5-10 mio per month. And that’s okay. But some others are not. They want to earn much more. Not to mention that once they get married and have kids, they will have a greater responsibility to earn more to support their family. To gain more, we have to do more, of course. The truth is, generally, we have to be in a high level of position to earn big bunch of money. That’s where the work hard takes role. Be outstandingly good in order to reach the position. Or just be ordinary to stay at our current place. It’s, again, our choice to choose. What we have to remember is that we can’t blame other people for our misfortune. Don’t be envious of someone getting higher salary because he works super hard everyday. He deserves it. Do we deserve it too? It depends, do we choose to be a person who deserves a position and a bunch of money?

That is why, our goals, who we want to become, pretty much determines how we do our life. Which correlates to the next topic.

On Life Goals

Might sounds lame, but my director reminds us to keep a list of goals in a piece of paper. We’ve heard this enough, haven’t we? But have we really do it? For instance, me, I don’t have one… yet (I’m planning to make one this weekend though).

The grand plan of our life. Write it down so we know where we are now, we know by the end of the year how much we have progressed, we know when to work harder, when to stop, and when to adjust. It is okay to have the plan go off the track, that’s reality, that’s life. The most important thing is that everyday we wake up, we know where we’re heading to. We don’t merely exist everyday and do the same thing all over again and be the same person for the rest of our life. Hasn’t the religion taught us that we’re in such a disadvantage if today is no better than yesterday?

So, do we want an okay life or an extraordinary one?

Again, we decide.

❤️, Atiqah Zulfa Nadia

Finitude of Life

I just finished a book titled When Breath Becomes Air. I bought the book because the reviews are good and it turned out that they did not fail me at all. The book is, in fact, very good. It is a true story of a neurosurgeon who was dying from a lung cancer. In his remaining time, he wrote a book about how it’s like to be dying and how he understands death. His wife also took part as she wrote an epilogue for the book. And that part literally brought me into tears.

The book makes me think of life, a lot. Especially about how all of us very often neglect the fact that death might actually be very close to us. We’re not granted with 80 years of life in this world. We might, we might not. Some live longer, some not. No one knows. Not knowing when it is going to happen does not mean it is not going to happen, though. Yet we still live as if we got forever.

Not knowing when our final time will be is somehow very tricky. We always have the mindset that there will be tomorrow. However, when the time comes, it comes so suddenly. What if we don’t get the chance to do one thing we want the most in life? What if we haven’t told someone how we really feel for them? What if we haven’t lived life to the fullest? Everything will be way too late by then.

Perhaps it is somewhat easier for people who are diagnosed with an illness and their remaining time in this world can be predicted. Even though there may be miracles, at least they’re already prepared. I’m not sure if this is the right analogy, but think of my time when I was in Manchester. I lived there for a year and when I have booked my flight ticket to go back home, I made a list of things that I would like to do before I went home. Eat a portion of half chicken al-faham, stroll around the city center on my own, take my last picture in front of the university, and so on. Even since the very beginning, I already had a list of things that I would like to do during my time in Manchester. I also took almost all of the opportunities that came to me. Maybe if we do know when our last breath will be, we will already have that kind of list, if that makes sense.

Shall we then start to live our life as if today is our final moment? I don’t know, honestly. But I think, to fall in love with our life, to be content with it and hold no grudges pretty much resembles a ‘life lived to its fullest’. Do you?

 

♥ Atiqah Zulfa Nadia

More Than We Ask For

I was not expecting my first weeks in Manchester to run so smoothly when I prayed to God for easiness in my solo journey. It turned out that the experience has taught me a lot of lessons. From which I became a better person. School went very well and life was full of adventures. It all happened, as if I’ve begged God for it. Yet all I asked was easiness.

When I prayed to God so that I become a stronger person who forgives other people easily, never in my mind I imagined myself to actually wish the people a happy and wonderful life. And I realize that sincerely wishing a happiness for other people actually help ourselves being happy and satisfied.

When I came back home from Manchester to Jakarta, I wished to build a brand new life. What I have now is an amazing life, surrounded by people I love. And it keeps on progressing. It changes me, little by little, and it has a huge force that encourages me to live better.

I asked God for a decent job after graduating from my postgraduate study. Not only I get a job, I get myself best friends too. With whom I discuss a lot of things during lunch or our 4 o’clock escape. Not to mention that I actually like the job too. My prayer was actually very simple. A job. Without any further details. Yet I gained so much more than that.

He always gives more than what we asked for. He generously gives an extra to whatever we wish for. He meticulously calculates the complimentary for our needs. He saves us from the risks we overlooked. And he provides things we forget -or do not ever think of- to ask.

He, Himself, is the One who told us to pray, to ask, to beg for anything we wish. It’s not always immediate, how He answer the prayer. But He always answers. And He answers with more than we have ever asked. Imagine ourselves praying every night and day, the prayers accumulate in heaven, how much more would He gives us once it’s finally answered? How extra special would the answer be?

It’s going to be much, much, much, more than we have ever asked for, I believe. Oh, and do not forget the prize for those who are patience 🙂

❤️, Atiqah Zulfa Nadia

Thoughts on Finding the One

There is this one poem that I like very much. It’s simple, far from any sophisticated word and rocket science sentence. Yet, to me, it is undeniably romantic. Period.

And I’d choose you.

In a hundred of lifetimes,

In a hundred worlds,

In any version of reality,

I’d find you, and I’d choose you.

If I were to fall in love, I want to be able to say those words to the man I love. Not only say, but to sincerely feel it for him. The feeling that assures me that we both will survive through a lifetime, through any favorable and unfavorable circumstances in life.

For that reason, I think it totally makes sense that I have to find a guy who would never change his mind. Not when the roads get bumpy, not when one or many of our dreams go shattered, not when life turns out to be unexpected, not even when we started to get bored of and hate each other. Despite it all, he would not change his mind. He’d choose me. And I’d choose him too.

I don’t know if a love that perfect does exist.

Honestly, I’m too scared of falling in love, because it’s uncertain and too risky. Because I’m afraid that one day I’d change my mind and regret the choice I have made. And maybe that is the only reason why I’m being very picky. I never let my guard down, not before I know the person well enough. So it’s not that I’m keeping a distance. I’m actually willing to dive deep, to know someone better and to understand him, to see life from his perspective. That is how I’m going to decide if there’s a chance that I might change my mind in the future.

Truth is, finding the one is ain’t easy for me, for some reasons.

But I’m sure I’ll reach the end, someday. (And you will, too).

♥, Atiqah Zulfa Nadia

The Story of the Moon

Have you been paying attention to the moon lately? It’s just.. enchanting. It’s perfect round, bright, and huge. I don’t remember I have ever seen a moon that big in my whole life. Although beautiful, the moon actually got a pretty sad story. My astronomy-genius friend told me the story and I’m here to tell you.

The moon is a round object in the galaxy. Unlike stars, the moon does not have any light. It relies highly upon the sun, what we know as one of the biggest stars. The light of the sun is reflected to the moon. That’s how we, people on the earth, are able to see the moon. However, the moon needs to wait until the sun sets in order to be seen by all creatures on the earth. Or else, the brightness of the sun will outshine the reflection of light on the moon.

So the moon depends so much on the sun.. while the sun is rather independent. It’s somehow sad. Without the sun, the moon will not shine at all. But if it gets too close to the sun, it will be invisible for the eyes to see.

It’s like.. you have this one person. One person that encourages you to become a better person, who makes you want to be the best version of yourself. Yet, you have to keep a distance from that person. Because being too close is not good for you.

All you can do is being grateful for that person from afar. And the light that the person left you, will everglow…

 

♥ Atiqah Zulfa Nadia