Thoughts on Finding the One

There is this one poem that I like very much. It’s simple, far from any sophisticated word and rocket science sentence. Yet, to me, it is undeniably romantic. Period.

And I’d choose you.

In a hundred of lifetimes,

In a hundred worlds,

In any version of reality,

I’d find you, and I’d choose you.

If I were to fall in love, I want to be able to say those words to the man I love. Not only say, but to sincerely feel it for him. The feeling that assures me that we both will survive through a lifetime, through any favorable and unfavorable circumstances in life.

For that reason, I think it totally makes sense that I have to find a guy who would never change his mind. Not when the roads get bumpy, not when one or many of our dreams go shattered, not when life turns out to be unexpected, not even when we started to get bored of and hate each other. Despite it all, he would not change his mind. He’d choose me. And I’d choose him too.

I don’t know if a love that perfect does exist.

Honestly, I’m too scared of falling in love, because it’s uncertain and too risky. Because I’m afraid that one day I’d change my mind and regret the choice I have made. And maybe that is the only reason why I’m being very picky. I never let my guard down, not before I know the person well enough. So it’s not that I’m keeping a distance. I’m actually willing to dive deep, to know someone better and to understand him, to see life from his perspective. That is how I’m going to decide if there’s a chance that I might change my mind in the future.

Truth is, finding the one is ain’t easy for me, for some reasons.

But I’m sure I’ll reach the end, someday. (And you will, too).

♥, Atiqah Zulfa Nadia


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