TicTalks 2: Choice of Career Path

Hi! TicTalks kali ini hadir dalam bentuk audio dan bisa didengarkan di link berikut ini:

Semoga suka! 🙂

♥ Atiqah Zulfa Nadia

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Ada yang baru nih.. Tic Talks

Sebagai mahluk sosial, tentu kita semua suka ngobrol dengan orang lain kan? Dalam sehari pasti ada waktu yang dihabiskan untuk berinteraksi, membahas suatu hal dengan keluarga, teman, dan orang-orang terdekat. Aku termasuk orang yang menikmati banget ngobrol dan diskusi. Nah, belakangan ini aku jadi sadar kalau selama ini banyak topik diskusi yang bermanfaat dan membuka wawasanku. Dari diskusi, jadi makin tahu banyak hal dan makin open minded juga. Daripada obrolan-obrolan berbobot aku dan teman-teman nantinya terlupakan begitu saja, aku akan summarize itu semua di blog. Biar keren dikit, aku namain Tic Talks (supaya kayak Ted Talks). Semoga bisa bermanfaat juga buat yang baca dan biar ngga dikira obrolanku hanya lawakan receh dan gosip-gosip belaka :p

Tic Talks pertama udah publish lho! Bisa dibaca di sini (klik).

Selamat menikmati!

♥ Atiqah Zulfa Nadia

TicTalks 1: Coping with Life

Belakangan ini cukup sering denger berita tentang orang-orang terkenal yang bunuh diri. Sejak bulan Mei kemarin at least udah ada 2: Kate Spade dan Anthony Bourdain. Menurut kabar yang tersebar, dua-duanya mengalami stress dan depresi yang akhirnya membuat mereka memilih untuk mengakhiri hidup. Isu tentang mental health ini jadi banyak dibahas. Termasuk juga jadi topik obrolanku dengan beberapa teman.

Kita memang ngga akan pernah bisa menilai kehidupan orang lain, apalagi kalau hanya lihat dari tampak luarnya aja. Ada yang sudah sukses dengan karirnya, terkenal hampir di seluruh dunia, berkeluarga, tapi sebenernya struggling dengan sesuatu – entah apa – yang secara perlahan membuat dia ngga kuat lagi dengan hidupnya. Life literally does not stop until you die. Kata temanku begitu.

This whole world will keep pushing us. Setelah lulus kuliah, harus bekerja dan dituntut untuk bisa mandiri secara finansial. Setelah sukses berkarir, ada karir lain yang lebih tinggi lagi.. dan seterusnya. Manusia dan dunia ngga akan pernah sampai pada titik puas. Not until we die.

The world is moving, continuously. Kadang cepat, kadang lambat. Temanku bilang, dan di tengah-tengah dunia yang berputar ini kadang kita merasa lelah. Rasanya mau berhenti sejenak, snooze off dari hiruk pikuk keseharian. Mungkin di titik tertentu dalam hidup, kita akan merasa selelah itu sampai rasanya mau berhenti selamanya..

Semua orang yang terlihat ‘normal’, tanpa beban bukan jaminan hidupnya baik-baik aja. Everybody is struggling. Apalagi di tengah-tengah society yang mulutnya betul-betul lebih tajam dari silet dan lingkungan yang ngga pernah berhenti memberikan pressure dalam kehidupan. Tapi, ngga semua orang bisa dengan terbuka menceritakan keluh kesah hidupnya. Makanya, lagi-lagi bersikap baik dan ramah itu penting. Checking up on people itu penting, sesimpel menanyakan kabar dan memberikan perhatian sederhana. Ada buat orang lain, baik keluarga ataupun teman itu penting. Because everybody could use our little act of kindness to stay alive and survive a life.

Sebagai pribadi menurutku kita juga harus bisa menolong diri sendiri, coping with all the troubles of life. Hal yang klise tapi benar adalah dengan dekat sama Tuhan, supaya selalu merasa tentram. Kedua, mengelilingi diri dengan lingkungan yang baik dan positif. Ketiga, tahu limit diri sendiri.. kapan take a break dan berhenti sejenak, kapan harus mengambil keputusan besar, dan lain-lain. Keempat, count our blessings, supaya ngga terus menerus merasa ngga beruntung dalam hidup. Kelima, salurkan emosi, apapun bentuknya (bahagia, kesel, marah, sedih).. kalau bukan tipe yang bisa outspoken untuk mengekspresikan di depan orang lain, coba disalurkan lewat media lain. Keeping a journal, maybe?

Semoga kita semua bisa menjalani hidup dengan apa adanya, banyak bersyukur, dan bahagia terus dan terus…

(Tulisan ini berdasarkan obrolan bersama geng Manchester-ku; Sarahi, Indi, dan Azizah)

♥ Atiqah Zulfa Nadia

My Ramadan Story

It began with a moment where I finally completed my running goal. I challenged myself to run for 3k. Though running in a slow speed, I did not stop ever for a second. That is where I learned about endurance, which apparently is a combination between a strong mind and an obedient body. I finally knew that I can endure the activity I used to hate the most in life (I never liked running). Thus, I believe that there are other difficult and challenging things I can overcome. And it all starts with the mind.

Ramadan is a month of endurance. We don’t get to eat when we want to during the daylight, we refrain from talking behind someone else’s back, and we break our bad habits. This Ramadan, believing that I have quite master endurance, I challenged myself. There are 3 things I tried to endure – which were not really necessary – but I hope they do me any good. The things might be something very basic for other people, yet to me those were new. Things that I have never done before.

First drill is to pray tarawih in the mosque. I haven’t really done this in the previous years. Either because I was lazy, the mosque is hot, the prayer takes too long, and so on. I prefer to pray at home. But this year was different. I realized that almost every single weekend before Ramadan, I always went out with my friends until it’s very late at night. Then I asked myself, why wouldn’t I go the extra miles to pray tarawih in the mosque as often as possible during Ramadan? If I could play until very late, why couldn’t I pray tarawih in the mosque until 9pm? I have a healthy body and there are mosques with air conditioner, I got no valid reason to not praying tarawih in the mosque. That keeps me going, consistently. There are days where I felt exhausted and felt like I just want to pray at home.. but again, this Ramadan is about endurance. So I tried to endure.

Second drill is to eat just enough food during sahur and buka puasa. I used to be very specific about what I have to eat at buka puasa; hot tea with sugar and gorengan. If there’s no tea and gorengan, I might be a little bit fussy. Well, a lot fussy sometimes. This year, I learned to be okay with whatever it is on the table. Also, I tried to endure all the cravings during the day. Back then, I would fulfill my cravings and ate them at buka puasa time. Imagine how full I became? Very full. I did this drill, first because I wanted to reduce my weight and second because I listened to a lecture few weeks before Ramadan started. The lecture explained that during Ramadan, we’re missing out the idea of fasting if we refrain ourselves from eating and drinking during daylight and eat with such greed at buka puasa time. I believe it’s a good drill to eat wisely, even after Ramadan (and gain the desirable weight as a result!).

The last drill is to wear old piece of clothes in Idulfitri day. This one is easy, though. The idea came as I have many clothes which I have only worn once. I want to better utilize things that I keep (some clothes are just too good to be given away or sold as preloved items, so I keep them). Since I did not allocate any money for new clothes, I was able to spend my money for better things.

That’s the story about my Ramadan. I can definitely say that I had a magical and wondrous time during the month. I hope it is indeed life changing. Next year, shall we meet again, I hope it will be better 🙂

 

♥ Atiqah Zulfa Nadia

Tweet Compilation / May

“Nulis apa ya…?”

Pertanyaan yang sama berulang kali terpikir setiap aku buka laptop dan berniat untuk nulis sesuatu di blog. Entah kenapa, akhir-akhir ini susah banget nulis yang terstruktur. Bahkan cerita tentang liburan ke Jepang belum kesampaian untuk ditulis. Hari ini kembali mencoba mengumpulkan niat dan ide nulis blog, terus kepikiran untuk nulis kompilasi tweet-ku sebulan terakhir ini. Baik tweet yang aku buat sendiri ataupun tweet orang lain yang aku like. Buat aku, twitter kembali menjadi source of motivation and inspiration setelah Instagram become pretty boring these days. So, shall we begin?

On Kindness

[from @elwa] “Buatku, ikhlas itu gini; Hanya dimanfaatkan atau tidak, dia beneran butuh atau tidak, habis itu dinyinyirin atau tidak, tidak begitu penting lagi ketika kamu memutuskan untuk menolong seseorang” Waktu baca tweet ini, rasanya langsung ‘jleb’ karena ternyata masih sering ngga ikhlas saat nolongin orang lain.

[my own tweet] “Semalem ceramah pak ustad: kalau beribadah dan berbuat baik jangan pas-pasan. Lebihin. And it’s such a thoughtful and beautiful advice 🙂 :)” Seringnya (ini aku sih) kalau beribadah atau bantu orang, ya seadanya aja. Padahal ternyata dengan ngelebihin, meskipun sedikiiit aja, efeknya bisa besar banget katanya.

[from @FiersaBesari] “Dan kini saya sadari, seseorang tidak pernah benar-benar meninggalkan dunia ini selama kita menyimpan semua kenangannya dan menyebarkan kebaikan yang diajarkannya”  Tweet ini lagi-lagi jadi pengingat dan penyemangat untuk meninggalkan jejak yang baik di bumi.

[my own tweet] “Pagi ini di prambors topiknya ‘pernah ngga ditolong orang yg ngga dikenal?’ Trus dengerin cerita orang2, bikin senyum2 sendiri 🙂 ♥♥” Aku kayaknya udah berkali-kali banget ditolong oleh orang yang belum aku kenal. Dari yang nolongin pas aku bener-bener butuh atau yang hanya simple act of kindness yang tetep aja bikin damai di hati. Kadang kalau lihat orang agak kebingungan atau kesusahan, suka ragu gitu mau bantuin.. kadang gengsi juga.. atau kadang merasa ‘nanti juga ada yang nolong’. Tapi kalau inget kejadian-kejadian random ditolong orang, rasanya malu sendiri kalau ngga offer some help. It all can start with a short question “are you okay?”, sesimpel itu (ini note to myself banget sih..)

On Life

[my own tweet] “Hari ini ngga ada random act of kindness. Adanya isi ceramah pak ustad.. katanya kehidupan kita itu sejatinya berjalan ke tempat kita akan kembali” Ceramahnya mengingatkan kita semua bahwa sejauh apa pun kita berjalan, tujuan akhirnya itu pulang ke Yang Maha Pencipta. Kita semua punya cita-cita dalam hidup, sekolah di Amerika, kerja di Inggris, jalan-jalan ke Disneyland di seluruh dunia, jadi manager di tempat kerja, tapi sebetulnya setiap path yang kita jalani dalam hidup itu akan mengantar kita kembali. Jadi, bagaimana kita hidup harus bisa membuat kita kembali ke tempat yang baik.

[from @tifahr] “Bismillah. Di balik segala ikhtiar, Allah adalah pemegang hak prerogatif utama. Dan semua takdirNya baik.” I repeated the last sentence over and over again… dan semua takdirNya baik. Kebayang ngga sih betapa tenangnya hidup kalau selalu punya mindset ‘semua takdirNya baik’? 🙂

[from @sahid___] “Kalau ingin tahu sifat asli seseorang, beri dia Jabatan Followers.” Tweet ini lahir waktu lagi ada kasusnya gitasav kalau ngga salah.. setelah ngobrol-ngobrol sama temen, intinya sih namanya manusia pasti ngga ada yang sempurna. Kadang orang juga ada masanya habis kesabarannya atau lagi ngga bisa mengontrol emosi. Tapi harusnya itu semua ngga bikin kita jadi judgmental terhadap orang lain. Kalau kata temenku, hard on yourself, easy on others.

On Love and Relationship

[from @sittakarina] “Someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you.” Sampai sekarang masih menjadi penganut ‘kalau seseorang itu serius, he won’t make you wonder’

[from @autocorrects] “Date someone you can have fun at a grocery store with” 

[my own tweet] “Jd inget dulu becandanya @erinplstr ‘sendal jepit jodohnya sm sendal jepit, sepatu jodohnya sm sepatu’ ;)” which pretty relates to ‘a flower does not dream of the beet, it blooms then the bee comes’ 🙂

 

Sekian tweet compilation bulan Mei. Semoga nanti akan ada tweet compilation di bulan-bulan berikutnya hehehe

 

♥ Atiqah Zulfa Nadia

Thoughts on Finding the One Part V

I want an exciting roller coaster ride.

I have been discussing with my fellow friend about marriage lately. We’ve agreed that it’s not a happy ending. It’s, instead, a beginning of a greater mess and an even more complicated life. It’s just the same roller coaster ride as we have right now. But, rather than being a solo rider (and being the only pilot), we will have a partner right next to us.

My life has been such a wonderful ride going up and down, along with all the twisted turns. As I have been enjoying my solo ride, I want my ‘marriage roller coaster’ to be equally exciting – or even better. I don’t want a boring carousel. Thus, I’m pretty sure that now I’m being very picky. I’m not looking for just a good resume. I want the perfect balance of him and I that makes the ride fun. I want to feel thrilled every time we both go on a new adventure (new house, new position at the office, new office, new country to visit together, etc). I want to feel enthusiastic every time we talk and discuss about things. I want to feel bored when we both have to – and then we give each other time to escape the ride for awhile before coming back with more excitement. I want to do nothing the whole Sunday and feel at peace just lying beside him.

I want an exciting roller coaster ride.

If it has to take a while, then be it. Cause I know you’re worth the wait. Yes, you are.

♥️, Atiqah Zulfa Nadia

Random Act of Kindness

Living in a big, metropolitan city, I learn a lot about being independent. Drive alone, eat out alone, even I know some people that go to the cinema on their own. I begin to think that I can do it all by myself, no need to depend on other people.

The frequency of having interaction with strangers is minimum, even though there are thousands of people in this city. One because we are told to be cautious of strangers. Two because we’re busy with our phones. Three because (related to the previous paragraph) we don’t think it’s necessary, we can live on our own. As we’re independent, we also think other people are too. We don’t need them, they don’t need us. So we don’t talk or even smile. We live our own lives, separately.

Yet my experience yesterday has taught me a different thing. I can do many things all by myself, I am independent. But it does not at all decrease the value of interacting with other people. Random act of kindness done by strangers still warms my heart. When someone shares something I don’t actually need but she shares it anyway, it fulfills my soul. Amidst the crowd of people who don’t bother, there are people who still care. We get very used to be independent and ignorant, we forget how good it feels to care for people. It’s like finding a rare gem.

My mom once said that we have to pay attention to our surroundings. Maybe someone actually needs our help. Maybe they don’t. But offering a helpful hand or asking “are you alright” or giving a quick smile, it touches someone’s heart. And we definitely don’t know how much a small act of kindness can change a life. So, let’s be a part of it?

♥️, Atiqah Zulfa Nadia

All I’ve Been and All I’ve Learned

It has been such a long time since I sat still and wrote, contemplated. I feel like I’m losing my muse – even worse now I feel like the ability to control my inner peace has decreased slowly. But I won’t let that happen. That’s why today I dedicate this very time to think and write. A blissful, serene moment I have missed for months. Why? Well, maybe because my life has been rolling with a very fast pace that I become so busy trying to keep up with it. And today I will look back, to where I’ve been. And hopefully I can find something I have learned throughout this time.

Life has been good. By good, it doesn’t mean it’s perfect. Good means despite of all the unfavorable things that occurred to me, I haven’t – even for once – thought of trading my life with anything else. I enjoyed every bit of it.

Life moves really fast, sometimes I want to slow down. Embracing things I have now and letting go of everything that’s now gone. ‘Me time’ is hardly experienced, or maybe it’s not. It’s just me who has not spend it wisely. Work, social life, family matter, has consumed most of my time. My mind is always fully occupied with stuffs. The only time I have for myself is when I’m sleeping or going to the gym.

I’ve been going through a life which should be familiar for grown ups; full of responsibilities. Everyday feels like juggling from one role to another plus trying to stay sane. Sometimes it’s really chaos and messy, but I’m glad I survived. I’m glad I managed to stay sane, too.

Lately I just go with the flow (I don’t know if this is good or bad, some people are obsessed with life goals and I just couldn’t care so much about it right now). I’m doing my best, that’s all I can think of. And if it makes me happy now, it’s all that matters.

Now the hard part.. what I have learned. Not doing any reflection and contemplation does not do any good to myself, really. I feel like I’m missing out the lessons God have put in between the problems, the successes, the failures, and the everyday life. I managed to collect some, though, I hope it’s enough – at least for the next couple of weeks.

It’s amazing how much we can learn when things don’t go our way. Every time we struggle to deal with unfavorable thing, we are learning. We drill our patience and ego, for example. It’s up to us, whether to choose learning or yawning and complaining (or maybe we can just choose all three).

We only know so little about someone, be careful of what we’re going to say to them. If it’s too late, then apologize. It’s better than being ignorant.

There are still good things in this world. Though it’s not ours – yet. Cause maybe it’s ours tomorrow, or the next day after tomorrow, or anytime soon.

We don’t need to tell everything. Big challenge for me because I like to tell even the tiniest thing that happens in my life. But I know no one wants to hear about it forever, so I have to learn to be enough with myself. No one needs to know everything about my life.

It’s okay. I used to be quite hard on myself, I have to always look at my life in the best way possible. I have to response to anything in a positive way. I have to be happy 24/7, fake it till I make it. But lately I just can’t. I once felt so miserable that can’t think positively. I let myself be miserable and angry and sad. I let myself be less friendly to people for a while. I let myself be super sarcastic. After that moment I realize that it’s okay. It’s okay to let our guards fall sometimes. It’s okay to let the negative side of ourselves out sometimes. It’s okay.

Endurance requires lot of efforts, but it will be good for us. When I run, I always feel like I want to give up. I hate running so much. 5 minutes run is way too much for me, while I can survive 2 hours zumba. So I challenge myself to be able to run longer. The same goes to everything that I hate but is actually good for me. Like letting people go, controlling my crave for food, and saving money. They all are hard but I have to endure, somehow.

That’s all I’ve been and all I’ve learned.

 

♥ Atiqah Zulfa Nadia

 

 

A very honest post

It gets lonely sometimes.. when the day ends; I get home, crawl into bed and hide under the blanket.

It’s amazing how being busy can make us ignore disturbing thoughts. Yet every night, there’s a solitary moment we all have to go through.

Having nothing to take care of, all the brain can think is about the matters we have been neglecting all day long. It goes round and round until I get so tired and finally sleep. And that seconds before I close my eyes, is the time where I feel lonely.

I wish there’s someone I could rest my mind to.

Since there’s none, for now, this solitude should be enough. Myself, should be enough. Keeping everything that pops and wanders on my mind to myself has to be enough. Having myself is enough.

When the loneliness tries to break in, I know it’s time to sleep.

The Lonely Rhino

The last male northern white rhino has died. The species will soon be extinct. What is more saddening is that his daughter and granddaughter will never meet the love of their lives. How sad it is to live alone… knowing that there will be no friends, no one to share anything with.

I don’t want to be that rhino. I don’t want to feel lonely.